It has been a struggle of mine to keep a positive attitude when at times people around me have such a negative opinion of what I do. Since I have been in the accident in 1995 I have successfully completed many things. I have obtained a certification as a marine outboard motor and stern drive technician, obtained an AAS in electronics, worked 2 years for Intel Semiconductor, ran a successful janitorial company for 3 years, obtained a certification as a person trainer. Yet people that are closest to me still seem to want to get their digs in. Their have been periods of time when I was unable to find suitable employment. It is not simply a matter of wanting to work. I have to find an available job that I am capable of doing and a person willing to hire a 75% disabled person. More often than not the comments take the form of a passive aggressive statement. Like "what will you be doing while your wife is working tomorrow?" If I confront them they hide behind a thin veneer of deniability. If I try to explain how limited my options are they turn a deaf ear to it. I associate this with the adage is the glass half empty or is it half full. I am 75% disabled even looking in the best light my glass can only be a maximum of 25% full. If I am working to the fullest capacity of that 25% than I am doing 100% of my capability. I never see anyone defending my right to work. There is never any constructive effort at all on their part. That is totally up to me. Whatever truth they may think they know about me is certainly not my truth. What anyone else may think or feel cannot be what defines me.
I have learned to regard people as ignorant that don’t understand my struggle. If the situation were reversed I hope that I would be more understanding. However their ignorance cannot deter me from doing what I want to do. That is the thing that people don’t seem to understand. Their negative comments effect my ability to function and cope with the pain. I am always dealing with pain as best I can. The life lesson that has taken me many years to learn is to disregard anyone who does not support me for my effort because they are ignorant. I don’t assign any anger or hurt to what they say. If someone lacks the common sense to realize that being disabled presents you with challenges that you have to work around than how much weight can you place on the validity of what they say or think about you. It requires that you have a dispassionate disregard for their ignorance. Forgive them and move on.
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